寫人的大學英語作文及點評
晨讀的地方如果人多，你讀英語會不會遇到磕磕巴巴的情況呢?下面是學習啦小編給大家整理的寫人的大學英語作文及點評，供大家參閱!
寫人的大學英語作文及點評：A Poor Man
It was a festival, like any festival actually. The sunshine was dazzling, the music deafening, and the people teasing each other. Almost everywhere were those who had relieved them selves from the routine work, expecting for a new start.
Except one a small man, whose age was hard to tell. He was huddled up in the corner, a few metres from the happy holiday crowds who were hurrying to and from. He was covered in a piece of pale blue cloth. For quite a long time, he was still with out even a slight motion, nor did he make any gestures. Begging for money? Or weeping over his misfortune? Neither. He was just sitting there, alone and silent. His hair was grey, much like the withered grass, fluttering on a frosted autumn morning. A bird might well have perched on his head for such a cozy nest, if it were not so dirty. His face was pale and twisted. The nose and the mouth were squeezed to one side. His eyes were frosted, looking inward like the windows of a snowbound cottage. Was he blind? Sometimes, he moved his mouth, murmuring as if to say something. But who cared to listen, on so brilliant and joyful a day?
簡 評
本文細致地描寫了蜷縮在墻角的一個可憐的人。文章開頭是一群人在狂歡：眩目的陽光、震耳欲聾的音樂、嬉鬧的人群，襯托出不遠處有一個人孤零零地蜷縮在墻角。作者對這個可憐的人進行了細致入微的描寫：一塊舊布裹住他的身體，亂草堆似的頭發，臉呈褐色，臉型扭曲而不對稱，眼睛內陷，也許已失明，有時動動嘴巴，也許在訴說著什么。作者的描寫由遠及近，從衣著到眼睛，越來越細致。而且運用了一系列生動的比喻，如：A bird might well have perched On his head for such a cozy nest，if it were not so dirty;His eyes were frosted，looking inward 1ike the windows of a snowbound cottage等，表現出作者細致的觀察力和豐富的想像力。整篇文章中，作者都沒有指明他的身份，只是在猜測：他一動不動地坐在那兒，是在乞討呢?還是在為自己的不幸遭遇而哭泣?愈加令人同情。
文章的最后一句再次將這個人的孤苦伶仃和周圍人的快樂放在一起進行對照，進一步渲染了他的悲慘境遇。如果作者能夠進一步加強兩者之間的對照，效果則更佳。可以引起讀者的思考：這個可憐的人究竟可憐在何處?臟?病?無家可歸?最可怕的是人與人之間的冷漠。
寫人的大學英語作文及點評：A Beggar
At a street corner squats a beggar. He is always there, under the tree, in the shade. Senile as he is, he crouches in some ragged pieces of cloth. He is there, always there, like a sculpture in the street. Day after day, thousands of people pass in front of him hurriedly. Some spare coins, most give a quick glance in disgust. However, it shocks me very much. What a miserable life a human being can bear!
At the first sight, you will be appalled that God has created such an emaciated creature. His dark face is full of wrinkles, deep or shallow. They remind people of the hardship the beggar has experienced. His cheeks are bony while his neck is so thin. His hair is bedraggled like a nest, a nest with a coat of oil. What an impressive sculpture it is! Most of the time, his mouth speaks while his eyes are half closed. But once a pedes trian passes by, he will keep nodding his head slightly and auto matically as if a gust of wind had forced him to do so. At the same time, he raises his gnarled right hand from the ground,murmuring to beg. What a hand! It is a seamy, shriveled hand. The wrinkles in his skin are stretching, twisting and in tersecting. Dirt fills the grooves. In front of him lies an dilapidated bowl with only a few coins in it. Believe it or not, it is more and more difficult to make a living by begging. Beside him, there is a stick as slim as his legs as if the third leg of the poor old beggar.
The sun is shining in the sky, but it doesn't shine every corner of the world. There are still people who are not bathed in the sunshine. The beggar is just one of them.
簡 評
本文用生動的語言形象地刻畫了一位在路邊以乞討為生的孤苦老人。作者非常注重細節的描寫，如乞討者布滿皺紋、飽經風霜的臉，亂蓬蓬油膩的頭發，半張半合的眼睛，粗糙的手，瘦弱的腿和脖子，他面前的破碗，破爛的衣服等。還包括乞討者的動作，如向行人點頭，伸手乞討等。此外，作者還描述了行人厭惡的神色，進一步渲染了乞討者艱難的處境，以喚起讀者的共鳴。
美中不足的是作者對乞討者的描寫沒有遵循一定的順序。描寫文的寫作一般要按一定的空間順序組織，如：從上到下、從里到外、從遠到近等，使文章顯得更有條理。此外，在描寫人物時，要抓住其最主要的特征，避免面面俱到。
本文在語言表達上的一大特色是詞匯豐富而準確。如bony(cheeks)，thin(neck)，bedraggled(hair)，gnarled(hand)，stretching，twisting，intersecting(wrinkles)，dilapidated(bowl)等。作者還恰如其分地運用了一些修辭手法，特別是比喻，如His hair is bedraggled like a nest，a nest with a coat Of oil;there is a stick as slim as his legs;he will keep nodding his head slightly and auto matically as if a gust of wind had forced it to do so.
(點評教師：黃鶯)
寫人的大學英語作文及點評：A Respectable Professor
Not all lectures serve as utilitarian tools. You have to turn to the perfect series of lectures on quantum mechanics presented by Professor Su Rukeng to see a case in which the class plays an exclusively and purely academic role, providing you with motivation, inspiration and philosophy.
With medium stature, thick spectacles and insightful eyes,not only does Professor Su possess the typical characteristics of a learned man, but he is also a genuine scholar, which is reflected in his classes distinctly.
It is generally assumed that lectures on pure science delivered by a conventional scientist, usually indifferent and emotionless, are boring and extremely difficult in that the expression of such topics, if not sheerly descriptive, is inevitably and completely mathematical and analytical without lively pictures.However, that is not Mr. Su's style.
On the contrary, ranked among the most enjoyable and comprehensible lecturers, Mr. Su is characterized by the encyclope dic knowledge, the appreciable and vivid physical picture visual
ization, the intuitive and profound philosophical ideas and the exceptionally attractive burnout.
As a scientist engaged in the study of nature and the explanation of the universe, Mr. Su seriously believes in the harmony and simplicity, as the fundamental essences, of the natural world, which compose the central motives of his ideology and are the real significance that we learn from him.
As a consequence, Professor Su, together with his extraor dinary creativeness and imaginativeness, exerts a strong influence upon us and greatly encourages us to ponder on the essence of the universe and our lives.
簡 評
本文描寫了作者的一個老師Professor Su。他的與眾不同之處在于能把枯燥的純理論課程講得生動而有趣。作者首先描寫了教授的外貌：medium stature，thick spectacles and insightful eyes，儼然是一個學者的形象;然后作者指出，與傳統觀念相反，Professor Su的課程能激發學生的靈感和求知欲。作者有一段這樣的描寫：Mr.Su is characterized by the encyclopedic knowledge，the appreciable and vivid physical picture visualization，the intuitive and profound philosophical ideas and the exceptionally attractive humour，幾個并列的詞組勾勒出教授的博學和風格。最后，作者提到了教授對自己的影響：激勵自己思索宇宙和人生的真諦。
文章詞匯豐富、用詞準確，但不足之處是作者過分依賴長句。全文只有一個短句：However，that is not Mr.Su's style.一般來說，短句鏗鏘有力，適合用來突出或強調所表達的觀點;長句適合表達較為復雜的觀點或內容，描述性或理論性的內容。如果一個
段落或一篇文章全是簡單句，會使所表達的內容缺乏連貫性和完整性;而長句過多則顯得重點不突出，拖沓冗長，也增加了理解上的難度。因此要合理地交替使用長短句：如在使用一系列長句以表達復雜的思想和畫面之后，用一個短句收尾，能產生一種新鮮和扣人心弦的效果;或在一系列短句之后使用一個長句，能讓讀者有一種圓滿的感覺。
此外，作者還用了很多插入成分，使句子不夠流暢。插入成分太多，容易出現主謂不一致的情況。
(點評教師：黃鶯)
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